Expectations are something we all have and will form as we do life. We expect to wake up with breath in our lungs. We expect to get paid for work we complete. We expect for our kids to learn when we teach them. Expecting is normal and is a part of life. I’m a home-school mom, so I expect my children to pay attention while I talk or ask questions. So there’s nothing wrong with expectations, even in our marriages. Expecting respect from our husband is fine or expecting care from him is good. I expect things from my man and vice versa. I think where we can go wrong is that we expect things for our man, but don’t want to be expected of.
We should ask ourselves if we are willing to do the same for our man as we are expecting him to do for us.
That may knock some expectations off your list and mine. When we start expecting of ourselves like we do our husband, then our tune may change just a tad. We damage our marriage and our man when we expect of him without being willing to give also. Our marriage is to help us grow into one mind and heartbeat. How can we do that if we’re continually tearing down each other? If we want our marriage to work as the Father desires we have to drop expectations that are harmful.
When we act nasty towards our husband how do you think it makes him feel?
When we say cruel words to our man what do you think he wants to do back?
When we demand things our way and do our best to get it, how do we think he should respond?
That’s a hard pill to swallow. I know for myself, it’s true, so I’m not pointing fingers, I’m just sharing from my heart. I can’t expect my husband to be kind to me, if in fact, I am not kind to him. Well, I can expect that, but it’s wrong and doesn’t please the Father. If I want my husband to respect me, love me, forgive me, and care for me, I should be willing to do the same for him. By expecting him to do all those things for me, but I’m unwilling to do the same for him, I’m harming our marriage. I’m also setting a bad example for our kids to follow. The Father doesn’t talk about loving our neighbor as ourselves just to have something to do. He’s serious about loving our neighbor (husband in this case) as ourselves.
If you’re on the opposite side of the coin, pray for your husband and keep giving even if he’s not. That can be very hard to do and I think we’ve all been there before. Just remember the Father hears your prayers and He is the only One who can work in your husband.
So if I won’t demand of myself the way I do my husband, why do it to him? It’s something to think about and examine how we expect of our man. I ask that we prayerfully consider trying to not expect things we aren’t willing to do also. Let’s love and tend to our marriage so it can bear fruit that glorifies the Father.
Father, thank You for the gift of marriage. Thank You for being the One who can meet our expectations. Help us to be willing to give of ourselves without expectation from others. We want a marriage that thrives and grows. We want to be loving servants of You. Give us strength to love as You do and to extend mercy when we want to lash out. Help us to see our husbands as You do and treat them likewise. We want to be women who bring glory and honor to Your name through our actions and words. In Jesus’ name, Amen.