Giving Him Space

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I’ve talked about trusting our husband to make decisions and how important that is in our marriage. The other day I realized another element that’s important to trusting our husband’s decisions. I realized it through trial and error, you know, life experience. My husband and I were trying to decide on something (small) and I sort of rushed him. He never said anything to me, but the Holy Spirit did.

When we’re faced with decisions as a couple, we’re going to react different to each one. Sometimes we may be quicker at coming to a conclusion, but it may take our husband longer. At other times, it could be the other way around. It will depend on the topic of decision with most of us. So if we’re on the waiting end, we should give our man the room and time to think through the decision. Pushing him to hurry up and make a decisions could result in the wrong decisions, one we may regret for a long time.

We have to give our man space to make decisions.

We should never want to overstep the Father working in our husband. Yet, if we’re pressuring him to hurry with his decision we may doing just that. The Father wants to guide our husband and teach him without us rushing him. I know it can be hard to wait sometimes, but we have got to learn how. We can pray that our husband hears clearly from the Father and chooses to do what the Father has instructed him to do. I don’t like to be rushed or nagged, so why should I do it to him? I’ve got to display patience with him as I would desire him to do towards me.

Nagging, rushing, or pressuring won’t profit anything. Sitting back and giving our husband the space he needs to make a decision will reap far more than we’ll ever know.

Father, it can be so hard to wait and let our man make a decision at times, but we know that’s Your desire. Help us not to nag or rush him when we’re faced with a decision. Give us the patience to wait. Help us to remember to pray for him to hear You. We want to be good wives. We don’t want to create problems that may last a lifetime. So strengthen us to be patient and pray earnestly for our husband. In Jesus’ name, Amen.


 

A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 18:22

 

 

 

A Rightful Fear

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What do you think of when you hear the word fear? It’s usually associated with bad feelings, but fear can be a good and bad thing. A fear that stems from horror is an unhealthy fear, but a fear that encourages us to respect is a good, healthy fear. Once we can establish the difference between the two, it can really help us thrive daily.

Judas had no respect or fear of Jesus. He betrayed him without hesitation. It didn’t cross his mind that Jesus was the long awaited Messiah. I think he didn’t fear because he didn’t believe. Unbelief propelled him to act without weighing out the consequences. He didn’t think what would happen to him after he was used and the dirty work was done.

Belief and respect help us to think before we act.

If we fear burning our hands, we probably won’t touch a hot stove. If we really don’t believe it will burn us, then we’ll touch it without hesitation. It’s the same logic with the Father. If I respect Him, I’m going to try and do things that show I respect Him. On the other hand, if I have no fear of consequence, I will break laws, commands, and act disrespectful towards Him.

Our actions indicate our level of respect for the Father. We have the choice to believe or not, but it will affect everything in our life. Fear (respect) and belief go hand in hand. Believing in the power of someone will cause us to fear and respect that person. Make sure you’re fearing the right person, the Father, and not man. Ultimately our life will be defined by our belief and unbelief.

Father, help us to fear and respect You above all. Help us to believe so our respect can be in the right place. There is no god like You. We want to have a healthy fear of You so we make wise choices. Our actions will show where our belief and fear lie. May our actions show that we believe in You and respect You. Forgive us for putting trust in anyone or anything. Show us when we begin to trust anyone or anything more than You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.


 

The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.

Proverbs 29:25

 

Word-Filled Wednesday

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Our study of the disciples has been so eye opening. To see how much we resemble they’re actions and ways has been helpful. We recently look at Philip and an encounter he had with Jesus. He tells Jesus to show them the Father. Jesus replies with, “Have I been with you this whole time without you knowing me?” That’s a bold question and one I can hear as I make statements like Philip.

There have been many times in my life that I’ve cried out to the Father for His help. I desperately needed His intervention in a situation and it just didn’t seem as if He was doing His part.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the Father’s hand in a situation. The situation may seem desperate or hopeless. We may not see His hand at all and feel as though He’s abandoned us. It does seem at times that He’s hidden or not listening, but what we can’t see is how the Father is working behind the scenes. He is always near and working in our lives. We can pray for the Father to open our eyes to see Him working.

Just because we can’t see His hand doesn’t mean He has left us without help.

At other times, we may not recognize the Father’s hand in our life. It may be that the situation isn’t going as we think, so we assume the Father isn’t in it. We have to remember that the Father’s ways aren’t our ways. He will work in ways that we may never dream of. Usually we have the steps planned out and are expecting Him to work just how we would. We should pray for wisdom to see what He’s doing.

Are you feeling this way? Are you crying out to the Father and it seems like He doesn’t care? Try asking the Father to help you see through His wisdom. He’s always working in our lives. He never leaves us or the situation. Our eyes just have to be looking through His lens on life.

Father, thank You for always taking care of us and working in our lives. Open our eyes to see Your hand at work in our lives. At times, we feel You’ve left us, but reassure us that You never leave us. When You aren’t working as we think You should, help us to remember Your ways are higher than ours. Help us to embrace however You’re working in our lives and cling to what we know is right. We know You are working in our life, even if we can’t see it. We do desire to see it, so show us, reassure us, and comfort us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Showing Our Kids Honesty

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There will be many times in our years of parenting when we’ll have the chance to be dishonest. It can be something big or little that we can be dishonest about. It may even be that you weren’t completely dishonest with your words. We’ve had that chance recently and it was small, so small that it really wouldn’t have affected anyone. Then, I thought of our three boys and how they knew the whole truth.

It may not be a complete lie, it can just be not all the truth, but it still matters. We are responsible for our actions in front of our children. Being honest is one of the most important virtues we can show them. If we don’t show them how to be honest, then who will? Showing them how to be honest will help them in their days to come. It may not always be easy for us or for them to tell the truth, but it’s what the Father desires us to do.

Even when we think no one is watching, our children are watching our every move.

Honesty is a character trait that the Father loves. Even if our children didn’t know about the dishonesty, He does. He will test us to see how far we’ll go. It may seem that the liars gain success and the honest can’t get ahead most of the time, but it’s not that way with the Father. His eyes see all that happens. He will not let an unjust deed go unpunished, just like He won’t let a just deed go without reward. We just have to remember that and show our children this world is not our home.

Our success will be measured at the end of age by God’s weights, not man’s. So honesty may not get you far up the world’s ladder, but it will on His. It will lay a foundation and pattern for our children to follow all their days. That’s way more important than any success we can gain through dishonesty.

Father, thank You for showing us how to parent and giving us an example to follow. Help us to remember our children are always watching and learning from us. We want them to learn good habits and traits from us. Give us the wisdom to do what’s right and the strength to be honest. The world may gain from being dishonest, but that’s not what we desire. We want to be honest women who stay true to You. We want to lay a good foundation for our children to stand on. In Jesus’ name, Amen.


 

Dishonest scales are detestable to the Lord,
but an accurate weight is His delight.

Proverbs 11:1

 

 

Speaking Well of Him

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I love words. They are so important and can do such good for others. Unfortunately, they can also do much harm for others. There’s a verse in Proverbs that says there is life and death in the power of the tongue. While our tongue cannot literally kill someone, it can change how others view someone. When it comes to our husbands, we should be very careful what we say about him to others.

When it comes to those around us, our words about our husband can either make it or break it at times. We’re all flawed human beings living in a fallen world. So we’re all going to mess it up from time to time. If your husband happens to mess it up more than often, don’t spread his downfalls, instead find the good he does. Speak those good things about him, not made up things, but the actual good deeds he does. We certainly wouldn’t want him to share how we messed up big time with our friends or family, so let’s be careful not to do so to him.

Not only should we speak good words to him, but we should speak good words about him to others.

We should desire to see our men lifted up and strong. When they hear us speaking well of them, it can help them to realize we aren’t embarrassed of them or bitter towards them. Our words have the power to give life or to death. It’s our choice if we want to put him down or lift him up when we speak of him. We want our men to be known in the gates as good and God fearing men. If we’re wise women, we’ll be careful what we say to others about our husband. Yes, we can acknowledge shortcomings between the two of us, but they don’t have to be dwelt on with others. That’s only damaging to our marriage.

So if you’ve failed at this, repent before the Father and to your husband. Ask the Father to help you in this area. He’ll show you what you need to see and help you speak words that edify your husband. Let’s speak good of our men to our others and our children so we’re being the wife the Father desires.

Father, we thank You for our husbands. It’s not easy being a man in this day and time. We pray You would give us the words to speak about our husbands that would lift them up. Help our husband to realize he’s human and we all mess up. Help us to encourage him not to get down and out, but to look to You, the perfect man. We ask that You would help us to hold back harsh words that would tear our husbands down no matter who we’re around. May we keep a guard on our mouth and speak good of our man. Thank You for giving us patterns to follow and words to speak over and about our husbands. May we please You in our marriage and in our speech. In Jesus’ name, Amen.


 

She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Proverbs 31:26

When Darkness Creeps In

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There will be times in life where we feel alone or like we’re in the dark. I know there have been many times that it seemed the darkness of trials hid the Father from me. I grasped for Him, it didn’t matter how small or insignificant it was, just to feel His presence in my life.

You may feel like the Father is hidden and you can’t see or feel His presence in your life. Darkness does not eliminate the Father. It can’t. Darkness may seem to hide His presence from us, but it’s there. We just have to seek it out and pursue it. I want to share a verse in one of my favorite songs that says when darkness seems to hide His face, I rest on His unchanging grace (strength).

When we feel that way, we can remember…

When we can’t see His hand at work in our lives, we can rest on His character.

Even when we feel like He’s abandoned us, we can trust that He never leaves us.

He never changes.

When we think of all His miracles in our life, we will be blown away by His love. Even the smallest act of His can lift us up and encourage us to know He’s working in our life. The enemy wants nothing more than for us to feel defeated and alone. He tries so hard to make us feel abandoned. If we look back to all He’s done we can gain strength. That’s what we’re continually told to do throughout scripture, to remember. Remembering His greatness will help battle doubt and lies.

Looking back to all His testimonies and His unchanging strength in our lives can encourage us.

We can remember His character so it can help us fight off lies and deceit. We can’t let the enemy have his way in our mind, so we have to start recalling those victories. The mind is our battlefield. If we just throw our hands up and whine, we have given the enemy an open door. The Father doesn’t tell us to remember His faithfulness for no reason. He knew we would be tested and tried, so He gave us instructions to remember how faithful He is.

Those times will come where we feel alone or when it seems we can’t see Him working in our lives. We just have to remember our feelings don’t speak truth, but His Word does. He’s always working in our lives, even when it’s dark.

Father, we’re never alone, even in our darkest time. You are always with us, even when we can’t feel You. Darkness cannot hide Your greatness. Help us to remember all Your acts and deeds You have done for us. Help us to fill our minds with Your Word and push away lies and doubt so we can fully trust You. You are stronger than anything we’ll endure and You are holding on to us. May we cry out for wisdom, comfort, and discernment. In Jesus’ name, Amen.


Lord, Your testimonies are completely reliable;
holiness is the beauty of Your house
for all the days to come.

Psalm 93:5

Word-Filled Wednesday

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Doubt. It’s the enemy of faith. Yet, we all doubt.

Have you ever wandered what causes doubt? We serve the mighty God of the universe, but somehow we still doubt. It’s the trait we don’t care to admit or possess. I have doubted more times than I care to share. It just seems so easy to do, like it’s our nature. I think we’ll always doubt to an extent, after all we are human. So totally banishing any doubt is probably unrealistic, but if we are continually doubting there may be some deep hidden issues to deal with.

When we’re continually doubting, it can hinder our full trust in the Father.

Maybe He let us down in a way that really hurt us. His ways aren’t ours and it could be that His way wasn’t what we desired. We can’t let that keep us from not trusting again though. Or it could be that man let us down and we’re afraid to really trust the Father. Men will let us down at some point, but we can’t hold that against the Father. We have to let that go. Some incident has caused our continual doubt and we can ask the Father to reveal it to us. Doubt makes us a wishy washy person, someone who isn’t steady.

The Father doesn’t want that for us and we really don’t either. Continual doubting can be stressful and drain us. If we never feel we can rely on the Father, we’re going to be unstable. The Father wants us to be secure in Him. We can only do that if we let our walls down , stop doubting, and truly trust Him. Fully trusting Him is a stress reliever and amazing. If we ask Him to reveal the issue to us, He will do it, just be prepared to deal with it.

Don’t be afraid to admit your doubt, but don’t forget to ask for help to trust Him with all Your heart. He has so much in store for us, His children. He wants to do things beyond your limit and borders, it just takes faith.

Father, help our unbelief! You are so  and faithful and trustworthy. Reveal to us why we’re so hesitant to really trust You. Man will always let us down, but You don’t. Show us our wrong thinking and give us wisdom to see Your trustworthiness. We don’t want to be double-minded or always doubting. Help us to let You heal our wounds so we can trust without borders. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

 

 

More Lessons from Our Arrows

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One of the many lessons that I’m learning from motherhood is selflessness. Oh it’s a hard lesson, one in which I’m not through being taught. We’re all naturally selfish and want everything our way, but when you have other humans to think about, it sure puts a new light on situations. We have to start thinking of others more and ourselves less, which can be tough at times.

There are some days that I don’t feel like having to cook, teach, or even stop arguments. I would much rather be writing, taking pictures, or swinging on our porch. Our children are helping me learn what it means to serve. Though, I’m still learning to serve them without complaint because that is definitely a work in progress. Our children are not only for us to help, but they also can help us.

By serving them, I’m learning how to humble myself and serve even when it’s hard.

The Father will use our children to help rid us of our selfishness if we’ll allow Him. We can learn a lot from having to put our desires on hold for their needs. That’s okay too. Through our service to them, they can learn to serve. It really doesn’t hurt me to put a desire to the side if my child needs me. It can teach us self-discipline and self-control. We hear so much that we should do what we want or to seize the day, but Jesus strictly taught against that mind set.

When we begin to see our children as tools the Father wants to use, it can be freeing and wonderful. They’re not here to pester us, though some days I know we all wonder. They’re here to help us learn and grow into the person the Father desires.

So don’t despise what the Father may want to teach you or how He may choose to teach you. Those little arrows can be a huge blessing to us, even when we don’t like it. Allow Him to rid you of selfishness through whatever means possible, even your children.

Father, for give us for our selfish ways. You are too good to us. Help us to see what You’re trying to accomplish through our children. May we die to our selfish desires and serve as You served. We want to be good vessels of honor for Your glory. Help us to be an example to our children of how to serve. We want to be able to point them to You through our service. Continue to rid us of sinfulness and mold us back to Your image. In Jesus’ name, Amen.


Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;

Philippians 2:3

Never Stop Dreaming

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Dreaming. Who doesn’t like to day dream about the future? I remember the days my husband and I were dating. I would spend a few days away at college dreaming about our future together and planning great things for our days of marriage. I couldn’t wait to see him again and talk about all our dreams for the future. We loved spending hours talking on the phone or in person dreaming of the life we were about to embark on.

As the journey begins and the years pass by, it can become easy to stop dreaming about the future. May be some of our plans didn’t go as we thought or our dreams were crushed. Life can become hard during certain seasons and not allow for much day dreaming, so we forget how too. One thing that’s important is that we don’t stop planning and dreaming our future plans with our man.

One day the children will grow up and we will have just each other. They will leave the nest and we’ll be as we once were, just the two of us. If we haven’t kept on dreaming and planning, then what’s next? It’s good to have some dreams for the empty nest season of our lives. We should never shoot down an opportunity to hear our husband’s dreams, even if they are way in advance. We don’t want him to ever feel we don’t care about his dreams. Because frankly, we don’t want him to make us feel that way.

If we stop dreaming with our man, it can cause us to loose a closeness.

We share our dreams with those who we trust and feel intimate with. If we stop sharing those dreams with our husband, it could be a red flag for us. We may need to examine what’s going on within us so we can deal with it and move forward. There are legitimate times in life where we are busy or tragedy does strike and dreaming with one another may not be as often. It may be because of those times that we don’t feel as close and so we don’t share our dreams or plans. The best thing to do is pray the Father reveal the stumbling block and work in both our hearts.

Marriage is a beautiful thing and one of those beauties is to open up and share our heart. If you’ve stop dreaming and sharing those with your man, I encourage you to figure out why. We never want to stop supporting each other’s dreams and plans. We want to keep that door open and seek out all the plans the Father has for us.

Father, thank You for all the plans that You have for our marriage. Help us to never stop dreaming with our man. Help us to stay open and connected so we feel comfortable sharing our intimate dreams and plans for the future. Show us any issue that is hindering the openness that You desire for marriage. May we let go of anything that is a stumbling block for us being open with our husband. We desire to grow and keep dreaming of all the plans You have for us as a couple. Help us to never give up on dreaming for our future. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Importance of Others

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Life can be tough. Sometimes, days seem to run into each other while we’re asking what month is it? It’s as if we can’t see the forest for the trees. We wonder what is going on and why is life this way?

When life is draining you and you feel like you’re drowning, you’re not the only one…

Everyone goes through those days and weeks, but it may be at different times for each one. That’s when others come to our aid. That’s when having friends and family can be a life saver. When we are struggling, they may not be, so they can encourage us. They may can see what we can’t. Even if they are going through the struggle with you, you can still encourage one another. As much as we may want to withdraw sometimes, it’s not wise. It’s not how the Father intended on us to live.

Even after pain and hurt, we still can choose to trust.

A circle of friends and family is very important for us all to have. The Father doesn’t want us to do life alone. We work as a body and if one suffers, the whole body does. Of course, we have Him, but He wants us to have each other. Asking another believer for prayer or just talking with them about the situation can really help us to see the whole picture. Other times, even if they don’t have any advice, just to voice your feelings and thoughts, can relieve you. It may even help you to see it differently when you verbally talk about it.

Don’t shy away from true, honest friendships. When life is hard and challenging, reach out to those who show they love you. Don’t mind asking another for help in the trenches and be ready to offer help if called on. Life is hard, but it doesn’t have to be walked alone.

Father, thank You for community and people. It can be hard to go through trials alone. It can be challenging to stay encouraged if we never have anyone to lift us up. Help us not to block others out, but to seek their prayers and help. We want to be a good friend and trustworthy believer. Help us to be that to others when they need it. Strengthen the circle of friends and family we have to be there for one another. May we love as You did and be a light to others. In Jesus’ name, Amen.


Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.

I Thessalonians 5:11